Shadow Chancellor

Last week the shadow chancellor replied to the autumn statement given by the chancellor and it was not much good. I am not a professional at giving public speeches but considering the opposite benches went hell for leather to put off Ed Balls and the speaker is about as effective as a chocolate tea pot, I would have done exactly opposite from what Ed Balls did and talk quietly, very quietly until the speaker had interrupted so many times every one else pissed off and I could give the speech properly. Not sure if that would work, but shouting louder and louder certainly does not!

It might be time for a change, so who is in the running?

Alistair Darling - The favourite. Labour needs someone who can give them at least semblance of economic credibility. Darling has the experience, all things considered is relatively liked, and his plan for the economy was arguably more austere than what we have ended up with from Osborne. [If Mrs Darling doesn’t mind…]

Yvette Cooper – Might make things at home a bit awkward. [The new Plan B is to get Cooper in as the next leader post-Miliband, so would she even take the job?]

Alan Johnson - Things could have been so different if it had not been for that unfortunate “personal reasons” business back in 2011. [Would be the ultimate revenge for the former Shadow Chancellor].

Chris Leslie - Balls’ deputy and Brown’s photocopy boy, Leslie has spent the last few months looking like a rabbit in the headlights in TV interviews that his boss wanted to dodge. [A brave bet on account of his general incompetence].

Rachel Reeves - In charge of the Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury brief until the reshuffle, perhaps boring, snoring Rachel could bore the Tories into submission in 2015. [Has friends with Ed’s ear].

Liam Byrne - Baldamort rises again? Ed could do worse than sending for the acceptable face of Thatcherism to sort out his party’s economic policy. [If only he were not too scared of the unions, and of course he would spend every penny he could get his hands on].

Chuka Umunna - Deeply unpopular within his own party, though his background at shadow BIS [Business, Innovation and Skills] puts Labour’s pretty boy in the frame. [Lord help us].

Stewart Wood - Would be nice for Miliband to have a friend as Shadow Chancellor. [A long shot given he is a Lord].

Hilary Benn - Has an economic background, and it would be fitting for a Bennite to take over the Labour Party. [At least Owen Jones would be happy].

Peter Mandelson - Would get rid of some of the wealth-creator bashing rhetoric, though is more interested in working for third world dictatorships these days. [They could not afford him anyway].

Gordon Brown - Things are not that bad. [Well, not quite].